The First Pain of Christmas
by PureSirius
Summary: Rated for a word Ed says. Roy and Riza try and put up Roy's Christmas tree. The problem is, the tree doesn't want to stay up. slight RoyAi ONESHOT Part 1 of 12 of a series...


PadfootItachi: Well in the spirit of Christmas this is the first of my fanfic Christmas series! This one is based off of the 1sr pain of christmas in the song "The 12 pains of christmas" it's actually "Finding a christmas tree" but I twisted it around bit

Dislcaimer: I own….all of the FMA mangas that have come out and all the DVDs that have come out…an FMA hoodie and an FMA t-shirt…and soon an FMA key chain…other than that…nothing…

----…..---The First Pain of Christmas: Putting up the Tree...----...----

A loud _bang _came from inside a modest two-story blue house, followed by an equally loud _thud _and various things shattering. Roy cursed loudly, and glared at the tree as Riza silently laughed; it was the third time that damn tree fell, and this time it waited for them to put up _all _the ornaments, the _expensive _ones. Murphy's law sucked.

"God damn tree." Roy took his right glove out of his pocket and shoved it on his hand, preparing to snap and send the tree, to tree hell.

Holding back her laughter, Riza said, "Sir, I don't think you want to set your home on fire just because of a tree."

Roy looked back at Hawkeye, and then turned back to the tree, glaring at it. "Fine, then help me pick it up, I guess."

They cleaned up the mess, and were soon trying to readjust the tree in the tree stand.

"A little to the right, it's still crooked," Riza instructed, standing back to observe the tree.

Sighing, Roy returned to his spot beneath the evil demon, and loosened the screws that held the tree in the holder. Slowly he began to tilt the tree to the right, before he knew it, it lost his grip and…

Riza cringed as another loud _bang _rang through the house, making Black Hayate, who was comfortably sleeping on the living room couch jump up and sprint out of the room in panic.

"God damn it!" Roy growled, glaring at the tree. He was _really _close to turning the damn thing into a pile of ash.

Riza chuckled, and walked over to pick the tree back up. "Sorry, sir. Let's try one more time."

Roy growled, like hell he was going to try and put that demonized thing back up. It might attack him next. "I say we just burn the damn thing."

Riza rolled her eyes. "I didn't come over here to hear you complain, sir."

Roy grinned slyly. "I know you came for a night in my bed."

A tinge of pink graced Riza's cheeks before she quickly suppressed it, and glared at her commanding officer. "I hardly think that is appropriate, sir."

Roy grinned, as they slowly lifted the tree and set it back in the stand. "And why not, it's not office hours, and you still haven't cut that habit of 'sir' either."

"Old habits die hard," Riza shrugged.

"It's been a year," Roy laughed.

"Put the tree up, _sir,'_ Riza emphasized 'sir' sarcastically.

"Never mind that I am your commanding officer. Isn't it _I _who should be giving orders?"

"And may I remind you that I can leave you all alone to put up this tree tonight," Riza shot back.

Roy gave her his boyish grin before disappearing under the tree again. "How's that?" He asked.

Riza stood back again and observed the tree. "Perfect."

_'Thank god,' _Roy thought to himself, tightening the stand, and standing up.

Riza held up a few ornaments. "Shall we try this again?"

They worked on the tree for about an hour, and it was nearly finished. Going to the box, for another ornament, Roy spotted something in the corner of his eye, in the box next to the tree ornaments. It was mistletoe. Grinning, he picked it up, and walked behind Riza. "Riza," he said quietly, holding the mistletoe over her head.

When she turned, she noticed Roy grinning mischievously at her, with something held above her head. Looking up, she saw the mistletoe, and rolled her eyes. "You are such a kid."

Roy simply continued to grin down at her before leaning down and catching her in a soft kiss. Unfortunately, before it could go any further, a loud _bang _was heard, making Roy and Riza spring apart in surprise.

"MUSTANG YOU BASTARD!" Edward Elric's voice rang through the house, and was soon followed by another loud _bang _as he slammed the front door closed, and _that_ was ensued by the loud _thud_ made by a 7 foot Christmas tree falling to the ground, which was then followed by the inevitable shattering of more expensive ornaments.

Roy growled. Never mind that it was the pipsqueak's fault that the tree had fallen, the damn thing was pissing him off all night. Without a word, he stepped away from Riza and snapped his fingers. "Piece of shit. Next year I'm getting a fake tree…and Fullmetal won't be living with me."

Riza rolled her eyes. Yes, he was defiantly a twelve-year-old boy stuck in a grown man's body.

----……-----

PadfootItachi: This is the first of a series. I am making 12 Christmas fics based off of the song "The 12 Pains of Christmas" each fic will be in a different category though, but check them out anyway plz! The next one will be posted in Naruto. REIVEW PLZ! ARIGATOU!


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